It's been a long long time since I last posted.
I've realized that my probation is over and my performance review is due.
Not that I'm nervous, but I find myself amazed at how much older I feel than I started out six months ago.
Six months with the agency, six months with a client that has demanded more of me than I've ever thought I could give. Six months, in a city that's sometimes beautiful and sometimes exhausting. Six months in the real world.
I know that there are countless blogs out there for professionals of every industry. Men and women sharing their knowledge and experience through their everyday work. I strive to have a blog of my own experience but realized that it's still a dumpster of my emotions that the victories and defeats I've gone through at work.
Sometimes I feel blessed and fueled for the drive I have to keep going. Yet other times I feel tired having my passion and creativity bounced off the walls endlessly without every going anywhere.
Perhaps this is my tuition. Life seems to be a school that's never "out" and everyone must keep paying their dues to learn what it has to offer.
I realized, you really can't keep your foot on the gas all the time. You can try, but you're just going to get burnt out. So I've learned to pick my battles. Learn to conceive and learn to have a short memory. Whether you win or lose in the office, tomorrow you're going back there and do it all over again.
China is bizarre. Sometimes in a beautifully optimistic way and sometimes twisted and disgusting. But I think as a journeyman, I've adapted quite well and I think I deserve a slight pat on the back for sticking in there when the going got tough and down right dirty.
When people ask me. "Why China?" I find myself speechless. I still have no answer, but I do have a gut feeling that it will do me good in the future. Moving half way around the world was no piece of cake but I'm glad and proud that I didn't quit during that first week when I left at 3 in the morning only to get back at the office at 10. I've been molded. Not completely, but I'm thankful for it because I hate to lose myself in the end.
I'm not out here saving the world. Not yet, anyway. But as tired as I get sometimes, I think I've still got the legs to chase the sun. Not too fast though, because I've found out that this is a long race.
Here's to the next six months, hope I find my own crib and hope I stay on track for my own dreams.
